Fear In Worship

I am not a eloquent writer or speaker and definitely not a good speller. I do however believe I can write better than I can speak. Therefore, I will attempt to write on something that has been on my mind for a long time and an issue God has been working to change in me lately.

Proverbs 29:25 says "The fear of man bringeth a snare, but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe".

I have struggled with the fear of man for a long time, but not in an area where one might expect. My fear of man is most present when I am in church, specifically in worship. Being raised in an environment where emotion in church outside of an AMEN for the pastor was thought of to be fabricated and a sign of being "penecostal" has left it's mark on me. I don't have animosity for being brought up to be reverent because reverence before a HOLY GOD is required. I praise God for my upbringing! I do believe that outward expression to God in worship whether in prayer, singing or other forms is not a sign of trumped up emotions or an attempt to get attention, (although it can be) but it is a command from God.

While at the previous church I attended I started to struggle with the desire to worship the Lord in physical form. As I would sing " No power of Hell, no scheme of man, could ever pluck me from His hand" I became excited! Not because of the style of music (which I plan to address in detail in the very near future) but because my heart was overflowing with the thought that I am completely safe in Christ. My eternal existence is secure. I wanted to raise my hands as an expression of thanksgiving but I did not. This desire has continued. The past two weeks God has been revealing to me that this is a fear of man.

This is what goes through my mind when I feel the desire to respond in a physical manner: 'There are people here that are going to think I'm whacky. These people know me and they know I have never done this before. They will think it is for show. I want to so bad but I just can't.'

I have also grown up afraid outward emotion. "It's a Tuten thing. We don't get emotional." Really? I have to disagree. My emotion wells up when I sing "Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, he washed it white as snow." PRAISE GOD! Not getting emotional about that is a clear example that there is something wrong. If you can't get excited about that (that's emotion by the way) what will make us burst out in worship? I'm going to heaven because of the shed blood of Jesus Christ. He took my place. Kneel, lift your hands, clap. That's what I want to do. They are bodily motions that are a result of the overflow of praise and gratitude in my my heart.

We have allowed those who have fabricated these reactions as a sign of spirituality and entertainment to steal a natural result of true worship from our time of worship. We can get emotional at a ball game when a receiver catches a 40 yard TD pass but we can't budge in our seat when we sing about our "Wonderful merciful Saviour. Precious redeemer and friend." Shame on us.! What do we think we will be doing when we get to heaven? Standing there with our hands in our pocket? NO WAY! We will be on our face before God. We will have our hands lifted in praise and admiration. Why do we have to wait? Because "I wasn't made that way", or "I don't want people to think I am weird".

How sad that I have let the fear of man steal away from me this part of worship. Do people around me do it for the wrong reason? Who cares if they do. They have to answer for that, not me. I'm responsible to God for my actions. True worship comes from a pure heart. That honors God. Plenty of people think they are worshiping but have sin in their life. God does not accept that worship. But that should not keep me from worshiping in any way that the spirit leads me.

"Well", we say "it may distract someone else" or " it distracts me when other do it". You have two choices then, 1. Go to another church or 2. Stop focusing on other people and judging their actions, and focus on worshiping the same God they are worshiping. If anything it should encourage us to see others responding to the joy that is in their heart.

I should also be quick to add that many times a bowed head or kneeling is just as appropriate a response as raising ones hands.

I'm just getting started and have gone very long. I have some quotes i want to post, verses i want to post and a few more things I will add next time. So until then here is something to consider.

Here is a quote by Bob Kauflin: "Our bodies naturally reflect what affects us. I cringe when a glass of milk is about to be knocked over; I open my arms wide as my daughter runs to greet me; I jump up from the couch with my hands upraised when my team scores the winning goal; I gratefully applaud unselfish acts of service; I cry when a friend’s child dies. Is the church the only place where our bodies can’t express what our minds are comprehending and our hearts are feeling?"